


feel the weight of the world falling slowly

by Solanaceae



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: F/F, Tolkien Femslash Week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-20
Updated: 2017-07-20
Packaged: 2018-12-04 11:27:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11554245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Solanaceae/pseuds/Solanaceae
Summary: Nellas and Niënor have a midnight conversation.





	feel the weight of the world falling slowly

**Author's Note:**

> Follows in spirit from [If You Need Somebody](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1038033). For silmladylove's Tolkien Femslash Week.

******23.**

]among mortal women, know this   
]from every care    
]you could release me

-Sappho, trans. Anne Carson, from  _If Not, Winter_

***

Nellas woke to the sound of wind.

Disoriented, she sat up, the bedsheet falling from her. The window was open, letting in the cool night air and the silver of moonlight - and the other side of the bed was empty.

She swung her legs over the side of the bed, suddenly awake. The floorboards were cold against her bare feet as she approached the window. Outside, the night was alive with the sounds of late summer: crickets, the rustle of the breeze in the grass, the call of a faraway bird. She leaned on the windowsill, peering out. Standing at the edge of the forest was a pale-haired figure.

Nellas let out a breath, relieved. At the beginning, after she had pulled Niënor from the river, she had sometimes wandered off on her own. Nellas would find her curled up beneath the trees, eyes blank and hands shaking. It had taken months for Niënor to recover - and even now, there were nights when Niënor woke crying out. 

It was, Nellas supposed, only natural after everything she had been through.

She swung her legs over the windowsill and jumped down, landing soundlessly in the soft dirt. The grass brushed against her ankles as she crossed the clearing. Niënor did not give any sign that she had heard Nellas’ approach, seeming captivated by the view. 

Once she was close, Nellas cleared her throat. “Did you - climb out the window?”

Niënor chuckled and turned around to face her. “I never oiled the door hinges like I said I would. I didn’t want to wake you.” 

“Why come out here at all?”

“I wanted to see the moon.” Niënor clasped her hands over her rounded belly, looking thoughtful. She turned back towards the forest. “And I could not sleep, regardless.”

Nellas came closer, wrapping her arms around Niënor, folding her hands over her lover’s. This close, she could smell the sweetness that seemed eternally caught in Niënor’s hair - a smell that reminded her of the lilacs that grew in the gardens of Doriath. 

“Is aught troubling you?”

Niënor shook her head. 

“You simply could not sleep?”

“It grows harder to sleep as the child grows,” Niënor admitted. “It will be a relief when this is over.”

Nellas laughed. “I believe that it will only  _ begin _ then, no?”

“True.” Niënor leaned her head back, sighing. “But then we can suffer together.”

They stood in silence for a time. Nellas still felt half asleep, as though she were wandering in a dream. Niënor’s body was warm against hers, and the softness of the forest was like a nest woven around them. 

“What do you search for in the sky, Niënor?” she asked. 

“Do you remember stargazing in Doriath?” Niënor ran her fingers over the back of Nellas’ hand, touch light. “I pointed out the constellations, and you told me about Elbereth and her hands of light.”

Nellas nodded.

“Mother always used to say that after heroes die, they become stars.”

Nellas hummed. “And what about us, who do not fight?”

“There are many ways to be a hero.” Niënor tipped her head back, looking up at the dark sky. “One does not have to go into battle to be one.” She paused, then added, “And who do you see when you look up to the night sky?”

“I see only you.” Nellas buried her face in Niënor’s hair, sighing. “And I would that you could stay forever with me.” 

_ I would trade every star in the sky for you, _ she stopped short of saying. It felt heavy in her throat, and the night was too fair to darken. 

Niënor was quiet for a moment. “You have me for as long as I draw breath,” she finally said. “It may not be enough, but it is all I have to offer.”

Nellas pressed a kiss to Niënor’s head, closing her eyes. “You will always be enough, love.” The breeze picked up, tossing the branches of the trees above them. Niënor twisted in Nellas’ arms, turning to face her, laying her hand against Nellas’ cheek.

Her lips were soft when they met Nellas’. Simply having Niënor here in her arms, all breath and body and life - her cares seemed brushed away by the wind, leaving only the feeling of Niënor against her.

“Shall we return to bed?” Niënor asked when they drew apart. 

Nellas nodded. Niënor took her hand, and they turned back towards the house.


End file.
